Ann is on vacation this week so we won't be having our regular Weekly Feminist Reader, but let's consider this an open thread; please feel free to contribute this week and weekend's stories we may have missed in comments!

This weekly Saturday column "Ask Professor Foxy" will regularly contain sexually explicit material. This material is likely not safe for work viewing. The title of the column will include the major topic of the post, so please read the topic when deciding whether or not to read the entire column.

Dear Professor Foxy -

With Hope,
-Reclaiming HIS Cunt

Hello RHC -
Thanks for your letter. The first thing is that there are actually a decent amount of gay, bi, and queer trans men out there (I have no stats, but here is an interesting article, just search "trans").

Additionally, there are a number of affirmative resources for trans men who are attracted to other trans and cis (non-trans) guys, such as www.queertransmen.org, and safer sex resources like James Cullen's "Safer Sex for Trans Guys." Also, there are many communities on livejournal and other social networking sites specifically designed for gay, bi and queer trans and cis men. These online communities may help you connect with other guys who have experienced similar barriers when trying to hook up and/or develop relationships with other guys.

When meeting other guys, there are a lot of things to consider, but first of all keep an open mind about whose type you might be. Many gay cis men will be interested in you. Some won't be, but that's the way attraction works between any two people, regardless of whether one of them is trans. Similarly, many bisexual cis men may be interested in you, and some may not be.

Being open and up front are good things, no matter how much you pass in the future. Disclosure is important because of personal safety, so you need to find the right moment to do so. I would suggest telling someone when it looks like things may turn sexual but when you are still in a public space. If you get a sense that someone is interested in you specifically because you're trans rather for who you are as a person, it's up to you to decide where your boundaries are. Stay in tune with what feels right for you, and never be afraid to leave a situation that doesn't feel comfortable. Also keep in mind that the gay men's community is used to a certain level of disclosure conversations since the HIV/AIDS epidemic hit. Like anybody on the dating scene, you will run into some rejections, and that will undoubtedly hurt, but you may also find an amazing man and/or an amazing sexual encounter. At the end of the day, finding the right person is about connection, commonalities, and mutual interest. If he's into you and you're into him, terrific; if not, no worries. Keep your head up and continue to be yourself - you're bound to find a guy who appreciates your honesty, and hopefully you'll appreciate his.

Once you get passed the point of disclosure, it should be easier to express your desires. As one of my gay trans man friends says, "I have a perfectly good self-lubricating hole. Lots of guys appreciate that." Ultimately, hot sex, and great relationships are based on open, honest and sometimes tough conversations. If you can master the disclosure and desires discussions, and the guy you're interested is still on the same page, have fun with him and have fun exploring where your connection leads.

One last thing to note - there are plenty of sites for gay men looking for sex (manhunt, gay.com and adam4adam being a few of the more popular ones). Sometimes you'll run across trans and cis guys posting ads explicitly stating that they are "FTM" or "trans friendly." Even those that do not clearly label may have affirming language such as "open-minded," and some of the more progressive guys who tend to be open minded identify as queer. Negotiating online can also offer a certain level of anonymity, which may feel safer.

Good luck! I'm confident you'll find a man that appreciates all of you, including your cunt and your fabulous manhood!

Best,
Professor Foxy

If you have a question for Professor Foxy, send it to ProfessorFoxyATfeministingDOTcom.

Regular readers will have noticed that in recent months, Feministing has brought in a number of new contributors: Ariel, Jos, Lori, Rose and myself. No doubt you're getting to know them by reading their posts and engaging with their ideas in the comments section, but I also suspect that you might want to know a little more about these wonderful women (I know I do!). Over the last few weeks, I've been interviewing my fellow new contributors so that you and I can get to know them a little better. This week, last but not least, I interviewed Rose Afriyie.

Rose is a first generation Ghanaian American who grew up in the Bronx and the Poconos. She got her B.A. at the University of Pittsburgh and is now at the University of Michigan pursuing her Masters in Public Policy, focusing on Science, Technology and Public Policy. Rose is particularly interested in sexuality and in how racial and gender inequities affect access to technology and, in turn, in participation in civic life. She has worked as an organizer with NOW and before she joined the Feministing crew this September, her writing was published in The Chicago Tribune and in her college paper, where she was a sex columnist, which officially makes her the coolest older sister ever (she's one of five siblings).

And now, without further ado, the Feministing Five, with Rose Afriyie.

Sexual harassment is a big problem on the NYC subway.

Just a sad story about a young man released from prison after wrongfully serving 17 years for a murder he didn't commit.

Students at UC Berkeley are striking because US Regents has approved a 32% tuition increase.

A study from UNFP about why women are hit hardest via climate change.

Latoya on what is being taught in college rape protection programs.

A ten year old in Arkansas is refusing to stand up for the pledge of allegiance until gay marriage is legal. In solidarity my brother.

**Also, something I didn't mention-a shout out to my undergraduate adviser at the Women's Studies Department at SUNY Albany, Vivien Ng, who I saw after 10 years and facilitated me in finding my feminist courage to speak on intersectionality.

The focus of Transgender Day of Remembrance is on those killed by others because of anti-trans fear and hatred. However, it is worth noting that too many trans folks lose their lives to suicide as well. The number of trans folks who have attempted suicide ranges from about 30 percent to over 50 percent in studies. One study found that 83 percent of trans folks have considered suicide. According to another study:

the risk factors associated with attempted suicide among transgender people were younger age (under 25), depression or a history of substance abuse, forced sex, and gender-based victimization and discrimination (Clements-Nolle, Marx, & Katz, 2006).

I turned 25 this week, a day I thought I would never see for much of my life. For me birthdays have become a time to reflect on how grateful I am to myself and everyone who has supported me in staying alive. I understand this may sound like a pretty depressing way to spend a birthday for someone who has not struggled with suicidal ideation, but for me it is honestly the most positive and affirming way I know how to celebrate.

I've had a lot of conversations with other trans and gender non-conforming folks about our histories with suicide. It's proved a surprisingly easy conversation to enter into with trans folks I hardly know. We have our own unique experiences, but what we share makes having a history with suicide easily understandable.

Trans youth face high rates of exceptionally cruel harassment in school, even higher than lesbian, gay, and bi youth. That's in addition to all too common rejection by families and broader communities. And that's for the youth who are able to come out in some way. I could not have been counted in a study about trans youth in high school because I lacked any words or concepts to understand my gender identity. Now I look back on my childhood and teen years through a gender lens and gain a much greater understanding of my life experience. Back then I didn't know how to process my reality. I knew I didn't fit into the world around me as everyone around me seemed to understand it. I felt the psychic pain of knowing people didn't see me as myself at the same time I didn't know how to express who or even what I was. I didn't know I shared these feelings and experiences with anyone else, so I felt isolated, alone, and wrong. Verbal bullying was the more common experience, but getting beaten up were the only moments I felt recognized and seen. I hated my body (and again, didn't understand why) and bruises felt like the only accurate physical representation of who I actually was. I remember the hurt when friends said, for example, that they saw me as "asexual." Their intent was not malicious - they were trying to process their experience of my gender without needed concepts just like I was. And like me they processed the fact I didn't fit into an unquestionable gender system by effectively erasing my identity.

It's very hard to live when you and those around you are convinced you don't exist.

Lowering the suicide rate among trans folks requires the same sort of work that will best combat violent crimes committed by other people against trans folks. We need to do a lot of consciousness raising work to spread awareness of the very existence of trans folks. Sadly knowing we exist is not enough - we must also convince people that trans folks are human, that our lives have value. And this requires convincing people that their limited conceptions of gender are not all there is, a massive undertaking given the widespread unquestioning acceptance of the compulsory gender binary. In other words, we need to change our cultural understanding of and approach to gender in order to bring about social change. Because no trans person should die at their own hands or anyone else's because of their gender.

For more information, resources, and help staying alive:
Kate Bornstein's Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks & Other Outlaws
The Trevor Project

[Editor's Note] I haven't seen Precious yet, but I have read about it endlessly and already cried just reading reviews. One of the most powerful interpretations I have read so far on Precious comes from my good friend, colleague and mentor Malkia Cyril from the Center for Media Justice. With her permission I am posting it in full here (cross-posted from the CMJ blog). It was also posted at WIMNblog.

As I sit against the florescence of the television screen, watching the conservative Fox News pundit Glenn Beck drive political nails into progressive leaders using the fear of U.S. blacks and immigrants of color as his hammer, my memory harkens back to the year in which the book Push was set, 1987. During that time, eugenics theories about the inherent laziness and criminality of black teenagers was rampantly resurgent in the news. Conservative research was cementing stereotypes of the black welfare queen, the crack baby, the HIV infected black woman as the truth that justified the destruction of the safety net as we knew it. Since then, health care has become increasingly privatized. Welfare has turned horrifically to an indentured servitude of workfare. The numbers of black women with HIV have skyrocketed. And the movie Precious, based on the book Push by Sapphire, was released.

Caricatures or Complex Characters?
Clarice "Precious" Jones is an extreme character, meant to shock the senses and unveil the underbelly of the brutality of racism and capitalism in the patriarchal land of the free. In the film and in the book, Precious is a dark-skinned teenaged girl who experiences multiple forms of oppression and violence at the hands of multiple perpetrators. In the movie, her sexually brutal father is an invisible or blurry character at best, while her mother, whose victimization as a woman was only alluded to, is cast as the primary perpetrator. It is only through the extreme telling of an extreme story that this dichotomy of inequity is revealed. There is only one man in the story as told in the movie - a male nurse- and the welfare and education systems which oppress black womanhood and subvert black female resistance are cast as saviors. Questions have been necessarily raised by black audiences -is this story the best way to reveal these contradictions? Is the mother the real villain? Does the story reflect reality or is it more of a caricature? And if a caricature how does that shape the impact of the film on the representations of black women in media and in the public psyche?

By Diana Kasdan, Staff Attorney, ACLU Reproductive Freedom Project

That’s what Bethany Cajúne told me the first time we spoke about her experience in Montana’s Lake County Detention Facility. “No one should go through what I went through.” We filed a case earlier today to make sure that Bethany’s desire to protect other women becomes a reality.

This past March, Bethany voluntarily reported to the detention facility to complete an outstanding short-term sentence for traffic violations. At that time, she was approximately four to five months pregnant, raising five small children, and attending GED classes four days a week. She was also about to successfully complete her first year in a medication-treatment program for a diagnosed addiction to opioid drugs. What Bethany didn’t know when she reported to the facility was that detention officials would withhold her medication, which was prescribed to suppress withdrawal symptoms and facilitate Bethany’s recovery, and was now critical for protecting the health of her pregnancy.

Despite several attempts by Bethany’s treating physician and drug treatment counselor to ensure that Bethany continue receiving her medication, facility officials, including its chief medical doctor, denied her this care. As a result, Bethany suffered complete and abrupt withdrawal, experienced constant vomiting, diarrhea, rapid weight loss, dehydration, and other withdrawal symptoms, all extremely dangerous during pregnancy. Despite repeated warnings of the serious risk abrupt withdrawal posed to Bethany’s health and pregnancy, including miscarriage, the facility continued to withhold her medication. Instead of receiving appropriate medical care, she was at various times confined in an unsanitary and windowless solitary confinement cell, told to “tough it out,” and shackled during an ultrasound examination. It took the intervention of a public defender to secure her release so that she could resume the treatment. In the end, Lake County knowingly put Bethany’s health and pregnancy at severe risk for nine days.

What a sad state of affairs. Well, I disagree Kate! But then again, I don't make millions off of being thin, so I guess starving does feel good for her, since she is paid to do it. Seriously, sad! Food is good and we need it to survive.

This makes me feel sad for Kate Moss, I mean, even though I know she is rich and famous and got to make out with Johnny Depp, but she is the product of a system that values thinness over her other attributes. And a pretty high value at that, since she is one of the top paid super models. It would be nice to think that maybe privately her self worth is not also based on what she looks like, but if her motto is, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," one would think the opposite. I also can't believe she is so detached from reality that she doesn't realize that young women that are already plagued with eating disorders look up to her and has no sense of public responsibility. Young women don't need to hear that eating less will make them skinny and therefore a super model. Bad. Bad!

As community blogger minerva put it,

Moss may or may not be intelligent, I neither know nor care. But at some level, she must realize that young women aspire to be like her. It saddens me that she truly believes that her motto is something to be emulated.

Food is good. These types of comments do have implications for young women since we are already inundated with the self hating culture of starvation to attain absurd levels of thinness instead of being taught to love ourselves. And then, often women are rewarded for their self hating behavior. It is an endless cycle that must stop and we need role models to help us.

Courtney mentioned in yesterday's What We Missed that the Senate HCR bill does not have the same vicious right-wing vitriol of the Stupak-Coathanger Amendment. mcjoan at DailyKos has a full break down of some of the key provisions in the Capp Amendment which is replacing the Stupak-Pitt Amendment.

Tracy-Flora Clark at Broadsheet tells us,

The key details of the Senate bill are as follows: Both public and private plans are allowed to offer abortion coverage. It empowers consumers to use government subsidies to purchase insurance that covers abortion, but requires that their premiums (and not federal funds) pay for the actual procedures. The Health and Human Services Secretary is charged with evaluating plans to ensure that taxpayers do not pay for abortions. And, while the bill requires at least one plan in each state to cover abortion, it also includes a conscience clause stating that healthcare providers cannot "be discriminated against because of a willingness or an unwillingness ... to provide, pay for, provide coverage of, or refer for abortions."

This move is a much better option, although as mcjoan mentions it feels hard to celebrate the continuation of the Hyde Amendment, but it is not as aggressive as the Stupak-Pitt Amendment. Our reproductive rights will be used as bargaining chips and some are saying it is unlikely that Stupak will be in the final version of the Bill.

But to prepare for any impending disaster, There will be a National Day of Action on December 2nd in D.C., along with a November 21st Rally in PA, November 23rd in DC and December 4th through NOW-NY to stand up against the Stupak-Pitt Amendment.

Leave any actions near you in comments.

Related:

Study: Stupak will end abortion coverage "for all women"
From Hyde to Stupak, over 30 years of limiting access to abortion
Beyond Stupak: The next phase of the abortion debate
Whose health care victory?